Seeing things differently
Reflecting back on past events, I realize now that there were times, years ago, when people around me wondered if they and I were seeing different things in situations where we should have been seeing the same thing. The answer is yes; that happened a lot.
Back then, I did not know that was happening, but I do know now that there were thousands of instances of other people and I seeing/feeling/hearing/smelling events involving myself very differently from each other—maybe even tens of thousands of times. To be clear, I’m pretty sure it only happened in events involving me directly.
It was suggested to me that on one occasion, it seemed to someone that I was screaming at them to buy me a house. I’ve never done that to anyone, ever. I don’t have any idea what I was really doing at the time when it seemed to them that I was screaming at them because I don’t know when this seemed to them to be happening, but I do know for sure that I’ve never screamed at anyone to buy a house for me.
I do not think others and I are seeing things differently anymore. But if it does still happen, I’m certain it is very infrequent.
So, why was it happening? I’m sorry, but that answer is going to have to come later. Ugh…
For now though, I will go ahead and be the first to say to me, Welcome to reality, Santi!! You’re going to like it!!
God bless all of you!
Dentistry
I imagine most of you know that, in the past, I had the most atrociously yellowed teeth up until about a year ago. They were so very yellowed, it was amazing. My apologies to anyone and everyone who had the great displeasure of having to see them that way. You may wonder why they were so yellow. Well, it was mostly due to a bad start, lots of neglect, and ignorance.
So, how did I improve them so drastically? I started brushing them. I brushed them a lot. I still brush them a lot, and they are still improving. At first, I used a standard, non-electric toothbrush. Then later, about a year ago, I bought an electric sonic toothbrush, and it was when I started using that sonic toothbrush that the yellow started coming off fast. Throughout the process of improving the condition of my teeth, I did not use any chemical teeth-whitening products, laser treatments, etc. I did it with just brushing alone.
To be clear: I’m not claiming to have perfectly white teeth. I definitely do not have perfectly white teeth. But the difference from how they were previously to how they are now is potentially startling. It’s almost like night and day. They really were very, very yellow; maybe even better described as brown. Yuck!!
What motivated me to start taking better care of my teeth is the most interesting part of this, though. I immensely dislike saying this yet again. I really, really, really do. But a deeper explanation of that will have to wait until later. In the meantime, I will say this; God taught me some amazing things about our dental organs. He really did. I know it may sound more than a little ludacris and crazy when I say this, but I swear it is absolutely true. Believe it or not, our dental organs have a deeply and profoundly spiritual nature to them.
So, why do I keep doing that? I touch lightly upon subjects and then say that more info will have to come later (I dislike doing it sooooo much, ugh!!!!). It frustrates me hugely, and I imagine it frustrates others also. I am sincerely sorry for doing that, and I apologize for doing it over and over. Anyhow, the reason is almost always the same. That reason being, that the details would not make any sense yet or perhaps would even just sound like pure insanity without people hearing at least some of the relevant Playback content first.
As I write this, I am feeling a renewed motivation to take even better care of my teeth. So, I’m going to improve by flossing daily and setting an appointment to take care of some dental issues that have come up recently. One of those issues is that one of my crowns fell off and needs to be restored. The other is that lately I have begun to experience some abnormal sensitivity in one of my molars when drinking cold liquids. My cosmetic tooth issue (hugely jutted front tooth) will probably have to wait, though. I suspect that Earth-level dental science probably does not have a 100% non-destructive fix for that. However, I will consult a doctor (of Dental Science) about it as soon as possible.
God bless all of you!
Some interesting movies
Click the images if you would like to view the theatrical trailers on YouTube. Please, do be a little cautious though. While all of these movies have some content that is “interesting”, they also have much that is not.
Just a note to avoid confusion: I’m not a robot and never was.
More nice t-shirts
Finished reading Contact by Carl Sagan and now reading Star Wars: The Old Republic: Fatal Alliance by Sean Williams.
The Fan
I know some of you are looking for evidence of God’s existence. With so much oddity going on all around us right now, I imagine it is easy to overlook considering the past as well.
I recommend searching your past experiences as well as your current experiences. You may find that some old memories will now make more sense if while you reconsider them, you also think about whether or not God may have played a direct role in those experiences.
I have a few stories of my own that would be very on-topic for this and I would love to share them with you now, but without you first knowing more about my unique circumstances, the stories wouldn’t make much sense. So what I’m going to do is share the story of an experience someone else had a long time ago.
I think he will recognize the story, but just in case he would otherwise wonder if I could be talking about someone else, I’ll say this about him to help. His first name starts with “K” and many years ago, he would often sit on a big rock next to a major thoroughfare near his family’s home, just watching the traffic pass by.
It happened when he was young; middle school or high school age. He was lying in bed trying to sleep when he had a seemingly random thought about an electric fan in his bedroom. It had been running day and night, nonstop for years and he thought to himself, “someday, that fan is going to stop”. A moment later, that fan, which had been running for years, stopped. At the time, it seemed to be an almost-too-amazing coincidence, but he attributed it to just being mere chance and continued to do so for many years to come.
I don’t know how he feels about that event these days, but I can’t help but think that if he is still attributing it to mere chance, that he may feel differently about it upon reconsideration if in addition to whatever he thought about it previously, he also considers whether or not God may have been giving him something to reflect back upon later.
As I write this, I find myself wondering; could there possibly be such an abundance of stories like this out there, that it would be impossible to attribute them as being stories about events of mere chance if we knew how many there are? I don’t know. I want to know though! And I will share mine later when they will make sense.
God bless you!
Picture of Bill Murray
It happened a year or two ago when I was going through a particularly rough time emotionally. I was feeling very defeated and someone who wanted me to feel better, showed me a picture of Bill Murray. It worked. I felt better instantly.
Now, I’m paying it forward.
Without further ado, here is a picture of Bill Murray!!
🎵 Are you happy now? 🎵
Sometimes, as I’m waking up in the mornings, I hear helpful hints and suggestions in my head. This morning I heard a familiar song by Michelle Branch. The song was “Are you happy now?” The actual lyrics of the song include this…
Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you’re happy now, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
But what I heard was…
Could you tell it to the world?
Are you happy now?
So, here’s what I can say about that: Fortunately, I am not happy. — Yep, fortunately.
I am looking forward with great anticipation and excitement to the day when I can finally be a happy person. I do not know the exact consequence that occurs if I’m happy, but I do know there is potential for ill consequence and that it could possibly adversely affect everyone.
This is one of the things that Leader-Guy is working on. He’s doing very well and eventually I will be able to be happy without there being the potential for adverse consequence. (Yay!!). But for now, it is better if I remain unhappy.
I have a limited view of the work Leader-Guy is doing, and I also see some of his results. He is working almost all the time and making forward strides daily. He is doing a lot of good for everyone.
And of course, even if there weren’t any reason for me to intentionally remain unhappy, I could not really be happy anyway, not being so far and long separated from my sweetheart.
God bless all of you!
On the topic of Lying
September 29, 2023, 8:00 pm
Everything else
Santi
I’ve noticed that some song lyrics make it sound like I’m some kind of prolific liar. I’m really not. I speak the truth nearly always.
There have been occasions when I’ve lied, though. Most of the time, if I’m lying, it’s because someone is asking me if I have a cigarette, a dollar, etc. when I can’t financially afford to be generous.
Through experience, I have found that it is simply easier and safer to lie in those situations than to explain that I do have a cigarette, a dollar, etc., but that I can’t and/or won’t give them one. I have, at times, tried being honest in those situations, and it just never went well. At best, I ended up arguing at length about whether or not I could afford it or whether or not I should give it to them anyway because supposedly they were in greater need than I, etc. At worst, I was physically assaulted. It was not pleasant, to say the least.
Why do I smoke, anyway?? That’s a topic for another time. It will be explained later, though.
Now, I’m not trying to complain or stop people from asking me for something if they are in need, but because of the topic at hand, I thought this needed some explanation since the majority of occasions (99%+) in which I ever lied were in those kinds of situations. For the most part, these days, I don’t mind at all if people ask. I rarely take my cigarettes or cash out with me if I can’t spare some (I mostly use debit now). Also, I’ve gotten much better in the last several years at saying no when I need to. That is also a topic for another time, but I used to be extremely weak-willed when it came to saying no to people. I’m much, much better at it now and much more comfortable doing it.
So, what about the rest? It is infrequent that I lie otherwise, but it does happen once in a while and I regret it every time. I’m trying to do better!
Here is a recent experience, for example…
This first example is an event that happened a couple months ago. Technically, it wasn’t actually lying since I wasn’t trying to deceive anyone, and I’m pretty sure that I didn’t deceive anyone, but I’m including this example because of how I felt at the time (like I’d lied—very guilty and remorseful).
I went to a thrift store, found some sandals I liked, and got in line to pay for them. When I reached the register, I was asked if I was over 50 years old (for a senior discount). I said that I was. Why did I do that? It was sort of a knee-jerk reaction because, in many ways, I am effectively over 50, and in many ways, I feel over 50. I wasn’t trying to lie. The word yes just sort of came flying out of my mouth. I admit, I was a little excited about the discount too. That probably also played a part in my brief brain lapse. Anyhow, I felt horrible afterward. I really was very affected. It wasn’t until about a day later that I started to feel better when I put the sandals outside on the sidewalk for any passerby to have for free. Once I did that, it took me about another day or so to finally not feel horrible anymore.
This next example is from an event that occurred about a year and a half ago…
I had purchased a fairly big TV online (40 inches, I think) and had it delivered to my home. Later, while I was still within my return period for that TV, I saw that I could upgrade to a slightly larger one for just a little bit higher cost. So, I went ahead and ordered the bigger one with the plan of returning the 40″ TV via shipping.
I don’t remember why, but it turned out that I couldn’t ship the 40″ TV back to the seller. I needed to take it to a physical store location a few miles from home to return it. So, I carried that bulky TV to the nearest bus stop and rode on the bus with it. The task wasn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it was quite a hassle. Anyhow, once I arrived at the store with it, I was horrified when the employees discovered that the operator’s manual was not in the box. I’d forgotten it at home (but I didn’t admit to that). I already knew that I couldn’t leave the TV there at the store while I returned home to retrieve the manual, so that meant that I would have to take the TV on two more walks and bus rides if I didn’t figure out something quick. What happened next is that I lied. I said that I had put everything that had come with the TV back into the box. The implication being that if the manual was not in there, then it was because it was missing from the box when I received it. I felt remorse and regret instantly. It lasted for days. When I say it lasted for days, what I mean is that it really affected me strongly. I spent those days feeling guilt and remorse for the entirety of them.
I still think about that sometimes, and when I do, I cringe. I do not like that I lied. If I could go back and do it over again, I’d just take that stupid TV back home with me, pick up the manual, and then return it.
There were a few whoppers (big lies) in the past too, but it’s been over a decade since that’s happened.
Here’s an example, which is the last one I can remember.
It was back in 2010 or 2011. My neighbor, whom I had not previously met, came to my door to politely ask me to please keep my subwoofer turned down at night because it was keeping him up. It was a reasonable request, and I agreed to keep it down. Before leaving, he asked what I did for a living. Well, at the time, I wasn’t working. I had plenty of money back then, and I was spending my days and nights seeking the truth about God and having all sorts of (mostly) verbal adventures and misadventures. Anyhow, when he asked, I instantly felt embarrassed at the idea of answering truthfully, so I lied. I said I was a professional poker player (ha ha!). So as it worked out, I caused myself greater embarrassment by lying. I took a lesson from that experience.
And then there’s this issue too. Sometimes I find myself in situations in which I have to say things that aren’t true, but I’m also not lying (the technically not lying thing again). For example, I might be trying to open a bank account, sign up for internet service, get medical services, etc., and they ask for information that I just can’t give accurate answers to, such as my date of birth, place of birth, etc., because the truth doesn’t match my largely inaccurate, supposed birth records, employment records, medical records, etc. That, and it would really be a tremendous hardship if I suddenly couldn’t qualify for the purchase of goods and services I need. I’m pretty sure that because I’m under 18 years old, I couldn’t even have a bank account without parental consent (currently, not possible). Anyhow, I just thought I’d mention this too, so hopefully people don’t think I’m trying to lie if I’m in a situation wherein I am providing that sort of information.
Here are some specific lyrics and some brief commentary from myself about them…
I don’t do that! I can’t say that I never ever did, but I didn’t do it much, and it was a very long time ago—over 10 years.
I believe this is a reference to something I was doing back around 2018. I wasn’t lying, though. What I was doing was more similar to spoken positive affirmations. What exactly was it? I’m sorry, but that story is going to have to wait until later (ugh).
I think this is another reference to the thing I was doing that was similar to positive affirmations.
I am pretty sure I know what this is a reference to. I can’t really say much about it though because it isn’t something I’m directly involved with. I’m not the person who supposedly lied, nor am I the one who was supposedly lied to. I do hope though, that this story will be shared eventually by those directly involved. It is the most beautiful example of which I’ve ever heard, other than the Crucifixion of Christ, of God letting something happen that seems very bad in order that something very, very, very good will happen later. I am literally moved to tears every time I think about it. I’m tearing up even now. God is good!
God bless you all!
TruthSanti2011Lies