Tag: 2011
Zee & Zim — G. & Jim
Many years ago, my dad wrote a book. I don’t know its title, and I’m pretty sure it hasn’t been published (not yet anyhow). I haven’t read it (yet!). However, I do know that it is the story of a pair of characters named Zee and Zim. Throughout the book, Zee regales Zim with many, many stories. And finally, later in the book, when Zee has finished with the stories, Zim sets out to share the stories with other people.
I find the names of the characters interesting. First off, “Jim”, which is phonetically similar to “Zim” is a pretty common nickname for a person named “James”. I also find the names of the characters interesting because, back in 2011, when I was a new believer (in God), I often referred to God by the nickname “G.”, which bears phonetic similarity to “Zee”. I don’t call him that anymore, but those of you that listen in on the Playback later will hear that I did refer to him as such quite a bit for about 3–6 months (in my best estimate). Side note: I was doing this long before I ever became aware of the social trend of people calling each other “G.” as an abbreviated term for “Gangster”.
I also find the plot of the Zee and Zim story interesting because this is what God did with me. He spent several years sharing many stories with me and fragments of many others. At this point, I’m just barely getting started talking a little about those stories, but I fully expect that soon I will become very occupied and stay so for years to come, sharing those stories and story fragments.
This is all I have on this topic for now. Hopefully, I will have the opportunity to read the book soon! I have no idea yet if there may be additional interesting content within the story.
God bless everyone!
Recently read books…
- Star Trek: Enterprise – The Expanse, by J.M. Dillard
- Star Trek: Enterprise – Daedalus, by Dave Stern
Currently reading…
- Star Wars: The Old Republic – Annihilation, by Drew Karpyshyn
On the topic of Lying
lie
3 of 4 verb (2)
lied; lying ˈlī-iŋ
intransitive verb1 : to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lie
She was lying when she said she didn’t break the vase.
He lied about his past experience.
2 : to create a false or misleading impression
Statistics sometimes lie.
The mirror never lies.
I’ve noticed that some song lyrics make it sound like I’m some kind of prolific liar. I’m really not. I speak the truth nearly always.
There have been occasions when I’ve lied, though. Most of the time, if I’m lying, it’s because someone is asking me if I have a cigarette, a dollar, etc. when I can’t financially afford to be generous.
Through experience, I have found that it is simply easier and safer to lie in those situations than to explain that I do have a cigarette, a dollar, etc., but that I can’t and/or won’t give them one. I have, at times, tried being honest in those situations, and it just never went well. At best, I ended up arguing at length about whether or not I could afford it or whether or not I should give it to them anyway because supposedly they were in greater need than I, etc. At worst, I was physically assaulted. It was not pleasant, to say the least.
Why do I smoke, anyway?? That’s a topic for another time. It will be explained later, though.
Now, I’m not trying to complain or stop people from asking me for something if they are in need, but because of the topic at hand, I thought this needed some explanation since the majority of occasions (99%+) in which I ever lied were in those kinds of situations. For the most part, these days, I don’t mind at all if people ask. I rarely take my cigarettes or cash out with me if I can’t spare some (I mostly use debit now). Also, I’ve gotten much better in the last several years at saying no when I need to. That is also a topic for another time, but I used to be extremely weak-willed when it came to saying no to people. I’m much, much better at it now and much more comfortable doing it.
So, what about the rest? It is infrequent that I lie otherwise, but it does happen once in a while and I regret it every time. I’m trying to do better!
Here is a recent experience, for example…
This first example is an event that happened a couple months ago. Technically, it wasn’t actually lying since I wasn’t trying to deceive anyone, and I’m pretty sure that I didn’t deceive anyone, but I’m including this example because of how I felt at the time (like I’d lied—very guilty and remorseful).
I went to a thrift store, found some sandals I liked, and got in line to pay for them. When I reached the register, I was asked if I was over 50 years old (for a senior discount). I said that I was. Why did I do that? It was sort of a knee-jerk reaction because, in many ways, I am effectively over 50, and in many ways, I feel over 50. I wasn’t trying to lie. The word yes just sort of came flying out of my mouth. I admit, I was a little excited about the discount too. That probably also played a part in my brief brain lapse. Anyhow, I felt horrible afterward. I really was very affected. It wasn’t until about a day later that I started to feel better when I put the sandals outside on the sidewalk for any passerby to have for free. Once I did that, it took me about another day or so to finally not feel horrible anymore.
This next example is from an event that occurred about a year and a half ago…
I had purchased a fairly big TV online (40 inches, I think) and had it delivered to my home. Later, while I was still within my return period for that TV, I saw that I could upgrade to a slightly larger one for just a little bit higher cost. So, I went ahead and ordered the bigger one with the plan of returning the 40″ TV via shipping.
I don’t remember why, but it turned out that I couldn’t ship the 40″ TV back to the seller. I needed to take it to a physical store location a few miles from home to return it. So, I carried that bulky TV to the nearest bus stop and rode on the bus with it. The task wasn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it was quite a hassle. Anyhow, once I arrived at the store with it, I was horrified when the employees discovered that the operator’s manual was not in the box. I’d forgotten it at home (but I didn’t admit to that). I already knew that I couldn’t leave the TV there at the store while I returned home to retrieve the manual, so that meant that I would have to take the TV on two more walks and bus rides if I didn’t figure out something quick. What happened next is that I lied. I said that I had put everything that had come with the TV back into the box. The implication being that if the manual was not in there, then it was because it was missing from the box when I received it. I felt remorse and regret instantly. It lasted for days. When I say it lasted for days, what I mean is that it really affected me strongly. I spent those days feeling guilt and remorse for the entirety of them.
I still think about that sometimes, and when I do, I cringe. I do not like that I lied. If I could go back and do it over again, I’d just take that stupid TV back home with me, pick up the manual, and then return it.
There were a few whoppers (big lies) in the past too, but it’s been over a decade since that’s happened.
Here’s an example, which is the last one I can remember.
It was back in 2010 or 2011. My neighbor, whom I had not previously met, came to my door to politely ask me to please keep my subwoofer turned down at night because it was keeping him up. It was a reasonable request, and I agreed to keep it down. Before leaving, he asked what I did for a living. Well, at the time, I wasn’t working. I had plenty of money back then, and I was spending my days and nights seeking the truth about God and having all sorts of (mostly) verbal adventures and misadventures. Anyhow, when he asked, I instantly felt embarrassed at the idea of answering truthfully, so I lied. I said I was a professional poker player (ha ha!). So as it worked out, I caused myself greater embarrassment by lying. I took a lesson from that experience.
And then there’s this issue too. Sometimes I find myself in situations in which I have to say things that aren’t true, but I’m also not lying (the technically not lying thing again). For example, I might be trying to open a bank account, sign up for internet service, get medical services, etc., and they ask for information that I just can’t give accurate answers to, such as my date of birth, place of birth, etc., because the truth doesn’t match my largely inaccurate, supposed birth records, employment records, medical records, etc. That, and it would really be a tremendous hardship if I suddenly couldn’t qualify for the purchase of goods and services I need. I’m pretty sure that because I’m under 18 years old, I couldn’t even have a bank account without parental consent (currently, not possible). Anyhow, I just thought I’d mention this too, so hopefully people don’t think I’m trying to lie if I’m in a situation wherein I am providing that sort of information.
Here are some specific lyrics and some brief commentary from myself about them…
You keep on building the lies
Sarah McLachlan – Angel
That you make up for all that you lack
I don’t do that! I can’t say that I never ever did, but I didn’t do it much, and it was a very long time ago—over 10 years.
No one knows what it’s like
The Who – Behind Blue Eyes
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
I believe this is a reference to something I was doing back around 2018. I wasn’t lying, though. What I was doing was more similar to spoken positive affirmations. What exactly was it? I’m sorry, but that story is going to have to wait until later (ugh).
Fully alive and she knows
Flyleaf – Fully Alive
How to believe in futures
I think this is another reference to the thing I was doing that was similar to positive affirmations.
Man, you wouldn’t believe
Fun. – Some Nights
The most amazing things
That can come from
Some terrible lie
I am pretty sure I know what this is a reference to. I can’t really say much about it though because it isn’t something I’m directly involved with. I’m not the person who supposedly lied, nor am I the one who was supposedly lied to. I do hope though, that this story will be shared eventually by those directly involved. It is the most beautiful example of which I’ve ever heard, other than the Crucifixion of Christ, of God letting something happen that seems very bad in order that something very, very, very good will happen later. I am literally moved to tears every time I think about it. I’m tearing up even now. God is good!
God bless you all!
Not Self-Tricking!
Today, I would like to share some about my journey from agnosticism to eventual belief in God. I tend to think of myself as having had some pretty extreme agnostic views before I came to believe in God.
First off, for anyone who doesn’t know, to be agnostic is to neither believe in God, nor disbelieve in God.
I was agnostic from late 2006 to mid 2011. During that time, I believed that only God could convince me of his existence, but that he would never do that. I believed that if God ever did reveal himself to anyone, it was in the distant past and is not something he does anymore. I thought God’s expectation (if he were real) was that we believe in him without any solid evidence. I felt this to be entirely unfair and not something I could possibly do, even if I wanted to.
Furthermore, I thought that everyone who believed in God was “self-tricking”; that they were in fact believing in God without sufficient evidence. I’m not saying that I thought they were incorrect about the existence of God. I was, after all agnostic, not atheist (Atheist is to disbelieve in God). I just thought that they were somehow believing in God without any real evidence because they wanted to.
Anyhow, self-tricking is not what I’m doing. God made sure that I absolutely know that he is real and he is good.
In 2008, God began to reveal himself to me with great intention. God proceeded very slowly though and I didn’t even become suspicious that God might be revealing himself to me until early 2011. Once I became suspicious, I went on to waffle back and forth time and time again between agnosticism and belief for about six months. I spent the entirety of nearly every day during that time period cooped up in my house alone (or so I thought anyway. I didn’t know about David or Peace-Guys yet), trying, trying, trying to determine once-and-for-all the truth of the existence or non-existence of God.
During those six months, I cried out to God on many occasions, begging and pleading that he please be quick and please be clear with me if he were in fact revealing himself. Still God moved slowly.
Those six months were the most difficult of my life. I was in agony. I was suffering. My hours, days, weeks, months were wrought with intense emotional pain. I needed the pieces to fit together. I needed to know the truth. My need to know the truth grew and grew until It reached a fever pitch, and still God continued to move slowly.
Something I didn’t yet have was even an inkling of understanding about God’s unfathomably great wisdom. It seemed that God was taking a painfully long time to do something that he could just as easily and effectively do in an instant. It seemed as if God were torturing me without any good reason.
Of course, God wasn’t torturing me. What he was doing, was laying a very strong foundation to build upon later. Beginning all the way back in 2006, without me even knowing he was doing it, God was teaching me volumes about himself and a multitude of other spiritual topics.
As God continued laying that strong foundation, the evidence grew from a tiny molehill into a giant mountain and eventually there was enough that I came to know the truth: God is real and God is good.
Years later, I know that I am blessed that God revealed himself in the way he wanted to instead of how I wanted him to do it. It has yielded tremendous benefit for me. I’m not yet detailing the exact events of those six months, but I will later (it may be in the playback too).
God bless you all!
Party time!
April 30, 2024, 5:00 pm
Everything else
Santi
Back in 2011, I made up a joke. It’s not the funniest joke ever, but I thought I’d share it anyway. I hope you like it.
There are a few things worth noting first, though. At the time, I was much more spiritually/religiously naïve than I am these days. I didn’t know yet that not everyone observes Sunday as the Sabbath. Also, I imagined Heaven to be a place where there is no economy, people do not have jobs, etc. I imagined the angels spending most of their time worshiping and socializing. I imagined Heaven to be a very fun place.
So, here’s the joke…
Is it a knee-slapper? Is it a groaner? I don’t know. I do remember, though, that at the time, I thought it was just about the funniest thing ever. 🙂
God bless all of you!
JokeHeavenSaint Peter2011